Albert Pujols: On HGH and Roids

Forget about sports, have you ever heard of anybody recovering from a broken wrist in two weeks?

Well if you're Albert Poop Holes; excuse me, Albert Pujols, that is how you do it. The man who broke his wrist on June 19th was ready to return to action on the day that his 15 day DL stint ended. He played a day later.

The man long suspected of using HGH (and other anabolic steroids); the man that defended Barry Bonds to the hilt; the man who's personal trainer, Chris Mihlfeld, distributed steroids to Jason Gimsley (according to Deadspin); has now made an unprecedented return to health.

The return to health can be explained by two reasons. The first reason is the logical reason; Pujols cheats and uses HGH, a substance known to drastically increase healing time. The second reason is the reason that only slobbering fans and politically correct cohorts (E.G. Anybody in the mainstream media) dial up: that Albert Pujols is an unnatural freak of nature.

We all remember it well, the pivotal Game 5 of the NLCS; the night that Albert Pujols hit the ball out of the atmosphere to morally crush the Astros. Pujols's Cardinals would go on to win the World Series. Or maybe we don't remember it that well. MLB for some (facetiously) odd reason has had pulled all of the videos of it off of Youtube.

MLB wouldn't want the obvious display of steroid use on file. They wouldn't want all the conventional wisdom that Pujols is a cheater to be the talk of the tube.

Once upon a time, Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco, Alex Rodriguez, Sammy Sosa, David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez all hit insane cannon shots one hundred feet beyond the fences. They've all been exposed as frauds. Yet for some reason, we are to believe that Albert Pujols is the one guy that is that one freak of nature? He's the one guy that has broke the mold and only done what cheaters have been able to do?

Sadly, there is no smoking gun. However, we are sitting in a pile of smoke. The smoke is in our lungs and we are now coughing up our lungs. The person or persons that may be sitting on the smoking gun needs to hold it up already.

Shots Heard believes that Pujols likely will be caught. We expect his arrogance to be his downfall. Barry Bonds went from skinny to the Incredible Hulk overnight. He rubbed our faces in his cheating. Pujols is rubbing our faces in it too. He has no problem showing off the fact that he's 'getting away with it.' That is why, he did not even bother to lay off the HGH for his broken wrist.


Pujols will be exposed as a cheat. Mark my words, write them down and see if they don't come to pass!